Comments on: du mu: "tomb-sweeping day"

By: marty

marty — Thu, 14 Apr 2005 10:17:05 +0000

hi -just came across this site..anyone there familiar with a poem about tomb sweeping day going something like: “the chin ming rain piercing every soul…seems to have no end”..any idea who wrote this?…please reply to my e-mail address (embee1@webtv.net)..thanks..marty

By: Allen

Allen — Wed, 02 Mar 2005 22:50:31 +0000

Is there any way of working in “shepherd lad” or “herdsman lad” without it becoming too bulky?

And yes, “I cry,” though a nice line on its own, doesn’t translate “jiewen,” which is something more akin to Mandarin “laojia” or “qingwen.”

I would also be tempted to substitute “blossoms” or “blooms” for “trees” in the translation.

Nice to see some interest in a great tradition, keep at it!

Allen

By: chris

chris — Mon, 20 Dec 2004 18:52:50 +0000

good doubts! i agree with todd. “I cry” looks like different from the original

By: John

John — Sun, 28 Nov 2004 08:36:03 +0000

Matt,

Perhaps he spelled it “correctly” because he used it in a way that no Americans I know ever would…

By: trevelyan

trevelyan — Sat, 27 Nov 2004 11:11:49 +0000

A really nice poem, although I keep wanting to say 酒吧 instead of 酒家. My other favourite is the easier:

少年离家老大回
乡音未改鬓毛衰
儿童相见不相识
笑问客从何处来

By: matt

matt — Fri, 26 Nov 2004 17:44:18 +0000

Well, I like the fact that you spell ‘arse’ correctly. That and the fact that I could actually read this poem and understand it in Chinese. :p
When are you comming back to China?

By: Brendan

Brendan — Fri, 26 Nov 2004 08:45:30 +0000

Todd – you’re right; I just liked the sound of “Where’s a tavern, I cry” for some reason.

John – I admit, I didn’t put that much effort into the translation, but I don’t think that “Tomb-Sweeping Day” is all that bad. I’m agreed that “Qingming” sounds better, but leaving it as such, or translating it literally, would require a footnote, and I just couldn’t be arsed.

By: John

John — Fri, 26 Nov 2004 04:51:20 +0000

So, you don’t take issue with the traditional translation of “tomb-sweeping day”? 清明 sounds infinitely better. I was hoping you might have something up your sleeve for that one…

By: Todd

Todd — Thu, 25 Nov 2004 17:08:26 +0000

Hmm, that’s one of the few ancient poems that I can appreciate. I admire you Brendan! I was given 唐诗三百首 by a friend, but I can’t understand them well enough to enjoy them. However, I recently bought an anthology of modern chinese poetry. It’s all baihua, and I can finally get that poetic feeling from reading them.

Good translation, except I have doubts about L2. Too mournful for who to bear? But definitely tricky to translate, and I think you’re correct not to try to translate “欲断魂” too literally. I also wonder about “cry” on L3. Actually, looking at just the english version I like “cry”, it makes the reader wonder why the persona is so desperate to get to a tavern! But it doesn’t seem faithful to the original, where the persona seems to be politely asking a question, and presumably wouldn’t raise his/her voice in such a mournful atmosphere.