And Anonymous — I miss Harbin sometimes too. But not in winter.

I think rhyme in translation works well to establish a sort of rhythmic, chanting mood — if that’s the mood you want. I am really partial to the Penguin edition of Horace I have, which rhymes. I don’t like many rhymed translations of Japanese poetry, though, because the patness of the rhyme sort of pre-empts the reverberation the poem is supposed to have — turns it from a pregnant suggestion of mood into a cute aphorism about frogs.

Still, I’d rather read a good rhymed translation than a bad unrhymed one.

You could make the immortal line rhyme if you rearranged it:

an immortal? hard to tell
glinting there between the swells

… yeah, see, this is why I shouldn’t comment.

Oli – Rhyme in translations bothers me when it’s too contrived (e.g. many of Giles’ translations), but when it’s done well, I think it adds a lot. You’re right about that translation of the Chuci, though — in general, reading any of the Yangs’ translations can only be a mistake. David Hawkes, of whom I’m an unabashed fanboy, published an unrhymed translation in Penguin Books under the title “The Songs of the South” — but then in his translation of 红楼梦, he rendered the poems as rhyming verse, and the result is completely effortless.

Just Kidding.

Happy Comment!

I really think rhyme in translations is over rated. I think half rhymes (or whatever you call them), focusing more on the meter and the general sounds at important places in the line can be much more effective.

Ive got this version of 楚辞 and a similar rhyming 诗经 and it pisses me off no end. Especially in a long poem, i find that i havent been reading the meaning, just bouncing along to the neat rhythm. Maybe that’s just me though.