Comments on: ouyang xiu: third in a series http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/ disoriented in the orient Fri, 21 Nov 2008 00:48:19 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Nic http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-53321 Nic Mon, 08 Oct 2007 03:42:53 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-53321 疑是湖中别有天 this is a tough one! 行云却在行舟下 hints that the surface is like a mirror that reflecting the sky, so the poet writes "湖中别有天". but in chinese, “别有洞天”means...well it means...i think you guys all know what it means. anyway the 双关意味 is too difficult to translate properly. 疑是湖中别有天
this is a tough one! 行云却在行舟下 hints that the surface is like a mirror that reflecting the sky, so the poet writes “湖中别有天”.
but in chinese, “别有洞天”means…well it means…i think you guys all know what it means. anyway the 双关意味 is too difficult to translate properly.

]]> By: dan http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-805 dan Mon, 31 Jan 2005 03:54:13 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-805 Just want to say, I think your site is VERY INTERESTING and as a Mandarin speaker/student it gives me insights into the language I don't get from reading newspapers. Not really sure what the hell Adam etc are getting at. I really hope you keep it up. Just want to say, I think your site is VERY INTERESTING and as a Mandarin speaker/student it gives me insights into the language I don’t get from reading newspapers. Not really sure what the hell Adam etc are getting at. I really hope you keep it up.

]]> By: Todd http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-804 Todd Mon, 06 Dec 2004 20:19:16 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-804 "Rhyming in English is harder than I thought", oh too true, and so damn easy in Chinese! Hence, a very difficult task to translate *and* rhyme. With the suggested simplification of the first line, overall a good translation I think. I don't like the "and" on L2 though, however I can't exactly explain why. Also, "up and down and flowing on" doesn't make much sense to me, and surely the original line means that both when you look down (俯) and look up (仰) you can see the clouds moving? Maybe something like "Under and over, flowing on". “Rhyming in English is harder than I thought”, oh too true, and so damn easy in Chinese! Hence, a very difficult task to translate *and* rhyme.

With the suggested simplification of the first line, overall a good translation I think. I don’t like the “and” on L2 though, however I can’t exactly explain why. Also, “up and down and flowing on” doesn’t make much sense to me, and surely the original line means that both when you look down (俯) and look up (仰) you can see the clouds moving? Maybe something like “Under and over, flowing on”.

]]> By: JFS http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-803 JFS Mon, 06 Dec 2004 05:17:53 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-803 I think Adam is right. I have received a lot of pleasure from your posts, but do not believe that I have much to offer and so say little. But your posts are very much appreciated. One comment, though. I would shortened the first line a wee bit more to "a wine loaded painted boat, the beautiful West Lake". You could even replace "loaded" with the more quaint term "laden"; more apt, but perhaps not commonly used today. I think Adam is right. I have received a lot of pleasure from your posts, but do not believe that I have much to offer and so say little. But your posts are very much appreciated. One comment, though. I would shortened the first line a wee bit more to “a wine loaded painted boat, the beautiful West Lake”. You could even replace “loaded” with the more quaint term “laden”; more apt, but perhaps not commonly used today.

]]> By: Cap http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-802 Cap Sun, 05 Dec 2004 09:08:56 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-802 Nice. Nice.

]]> By: Adam http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-801 Adam Sat, 04 Dec 2004 16:15:54 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-801 I'm not saying you shouldn't do poetry, or that it's better or worse than anything. You're very good at it; I can't imagine it being a task that you find especially taxing, it probably keeps you from doing other shit you'd rather not be doing, and it is an excellent way to simultaneously showcase and reinforce your knowledge. Most importantly, if you enjoy it, and I'm fairly certain that you do, just do it. Face it, not everyone has something to say about OuYang Xiu's seventy fifth Ci composed to the tune of "donkey fucker". This is simply a fact of the world we live in. If plan C involves camels, Manchuria, or the Irish, count me out. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do poetry, or that it’s better or worse than anything. You’re very good at it; I can’t imagine it being a task that you find especially taxing, it probably keeps you from doing other shit you’d rather not be doing, and it is an excellent way to simultaneously showcase and reinforce your knowledge. Most importantly, if you enjoy it, and I’m fairly certain that you do, just do it.

Face it, not everyone has something to say about OuYang Xiu’s seventy fifth Ci composed to the tune of “donkey fucker”. This is simply a fact of the world we live in.

If plan C involves camels, Manchuria, or the Irish, count me out.

]]> By: Brendan http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-800 Brendan Sat, 04 Dec 2004 13:20:25 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-800 Matt - I like it! Once I finish this poem-cycle I'll go back and revise my earlier translations; is it OK if I make the change as per your suggestion and credit you? Adam - Yeah, but it's nice to get some feedback every now and then. I think you're right, though; doing poetry may not actually be any better than doing nothing at all. It's time to come up with a Plan C. Matt - I like it! Once I finish this poem-cycle I’ll go back and revise my earlier translations; is it OK if I make the change as per your suggestion and credit you?

Adam - Yeah, but it’s nice to get some feedback every now and then. I think you’re right, though; doing poetry may not actually be any better than doing nothing at all. It’s time to come up with a Plan C.

]]> By: Adam http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-799 Adam Sat, 04 Dec 2004 11:03:25 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-799 Brendan, there's no fame in Classical Chinese Translation. If you're trying to elicit a response you'd be much better off showing pictures of yourself doused with tumeric, or locked in people's bathrooms. If people don't respond it's not because we don't appreciate or value the effort and skill that goes into these pages, we just assume you derive that you derive enjoyment and satisfaction form the translation itself. Is this not the point of you posting? Brendan, there’s no fame in Classical Chinese Translation. If you’re trying to elicit a response you’d be much better off showing pictures of yourself doused with tumeric, or locked in people’s bathrooms. If people don’t respond it’s not because we don’t appreciate or value the effort and skill that goes into these pages, we just assume you derive that you derive enjoyment and satisfaction form the translation itself. Is this not the point of you posting?

]]> By: Matt http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-798 Matt Sat, 04 Dec 2004 10:13:48 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-798 I like the rhymed (and almost-rhymed) lines, but the long ones feel kind of floppy. Like, what if the first line were shortened a little to: "A painted boat with a load of wine: the beautiful West Lake"? Then you'd have a 4+3 stress thing (followed by two lines of 4 each) that matches the number of characters per line in the original, even. I like the rhymed (and almost-rhymed) lines, but the long ones feel kind of floppy. Like, what if the first line were shortened a little to: “A painted boat with a load of wine: the beautiful West Lake”? Then you’d have a 4+3 stress thing (followed by two lines of 4 each) that matches the number of characters per line in the original, even.

]]> By: chriswaugh_bj http://bokane.org/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-797 chriswaugh_bj Sat, 04 Dec 2004 06:05:17 +0000 http://bokane.org/newblog/2004/12/03/ouyang-xiu-third-in-a-series/#comment-797 Well done. Well done.

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