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尴尬病毒 Embarrassing Ailments

I finally went about setting up a flickr account, and this was the first thing I uploaded — a poster advertising “painless, non-scarring circumcision” that’s been going up in public toilets all over the place lately. I meant to scan this and translate it for Danwei a couple of months ago, but dragged my ass on it and eventually got beaten out by Ichabod, who posted his own translation, on which I’ll refrain from commenting as I’ve taken some liberties in my own quick and dirty translation below — most notably the rhyme for ‘Korea.’


Foreskins and penises vary in length –
Like all physical features – from person to person.
Jobs, studies, and overwork all sap your strength
And then illnesses come, causing matters to worsen.
Strange odors and red growths are commonly seen —
The problem? Your foreskin’s as long as a tortilla.
Alas! Alack! What’s a guy to do?
Dongda Anus and Intenstine Hospital will see you through
With its circular slicing techniques from Korea.
No pain! No scarring! Critics cheer!
Your embarrassing ailments all will disappear —
And your partner of the opposite sex will smile from ear to ear.

Where is this Dongda Hospital?
Over to the south of Landao Shopping.
8563-9299; give a call
For health and happiness unstopping.

Chinese text:
包皮过长和包茎
生理特征各不同
工作学习忙翻天
病毒病菌来捣乱
异味红肿时常见
包皮过长是根源
次种情况怎么办
东大医院解您烦
韩国包皮环切术
无痛无创是首选
尴尬病毒都不见
异性伴侣笑开颜
东大医院哪里找
蓝岛大厦靠南边
85639299先咨询
健康快乐伴随您

3 Comments

  1. Prince Roy wrote:

    now you’re reduced to translating bad Chinese doggerel…you really do need a vacation…

    Tuesday, August 29, 2006 at 9:42 pm | Permalink
  2. Jim wrote:

    but dragged my ass on it

    I know a good Anus and Intestine Hospital that could help you with that, but there advert seems to be missing.

    Wednesday, August 30, 2006 at 4:29 pm | Permalink
  3. Roy – you see what it has come to. My sole joy in life is finding rhymes for “circular slicing techniques from Korea.”

    Jim – Missing? Nonsense; I have two or three at home.

    Wednesday, August 30, 2006 at 4:52 pm | Permalink

6 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. The Peking Duck on Sunday, September 3, 2006 at 11:32 am

    Chinese circumcision poem…

    Funny and well written…….

  2. Laguna Llacasapa at bokane.org on Monday, September 4, 2006 at 4:26 pm

    […] After last week’s translation of “Embarrassing Ailments,” I figured I might as well post “Laguna Llacasapa,” a little ditty (previously posted on a now-defunct group blog) that my best friend Jon and I came up with over a few pitchers of beer last summer in Philadelphia. There’s a story behind it, which is this: […]

  3. ¥Ö¥í¥°¥é¥ó¥À¥à on Thursday, September 7, 2006 at 10:54 am

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  4. ¥Ö¥í¥°¥é¥ó¥À¥à on Monday, September 11, 2006 at 10:00 am

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  5. ¥Ö¥í¥°¥é¥ó¥À¥à on Monday, September 11, 2006 at 10:21 am

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  6. […] I’ve also noticed that Brendan has put up a translation of the most amusing poster I saw during my whole vacation on the mainland. Tags: Brendan, China, weird […]

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