Comments on: Mental health break http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/ disoriented in the orient Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:53:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: 宇文寒秋 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1206 宇文寒秋 Sun, 08 Oct 2006 17:00:55 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1206 说什么好呢，爱极了你的诗，呵呵 非常支持你！！！！！！ 欣赏你的文章！！！ 英文的和汉语的都喜欢！！！！！ 祝你快乐。。 　　宇文寒秋 二○○六年十月九日 说什么好呢，爱极了你的诗，呵呵
非常支持你！！！！！！
欣赏你的文章！！！
英文的和汉语的都喜欢！！！！！
祝你快乐。。
　　宇文寒秋
二○○六年十月九日

]]> By: Brendan O'Kane http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1179 Brendan O'Kane Tue, 03 Oct 2006 03:32:12 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1179 Come now -- Wade-Giles has reached the end of its usefulness, but there's nothing wrong with it when it's used correctly -- i.e., not by Taiwanese people. Come now — Wade-Giles has reached the end of its usefulness, but there’s nothing wrong with it when it’s used correctly — i.e., not by Taiwanese people.

]]> By: prince roy at-large http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1178 prince roy at-large Tue, 03 Oct 2006 03:30:12 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1178 Hey, I think there's an imposter posting under your name. Surely that couldn't have been <i>you</i> praising Wade-Giles. We are truly approaching the End of Times. Hey, I think there’s an imposter posting under your name. Surely that couldn’t have been you praising Wade-Giles. We are truly approaching the End of Times.

]]> By: Brendan O'Kane http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1167 Brendan O'Kane Tue, 26 Sep 2006 19:01:28 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1167 D'oh, yes. This is what I get for posting late at night. An earlier draft stuck much more closely to the original rhyme scheme; was thinking of that. D’oh, yes. This is what I get for posting late at night. An earlier draft stuck much more closely to the original rhyme scheme; was thinking of that.

]]> By: nausicaa http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1165 nausicaa Mon, 25 Sep 2006 22:31:13 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1165 Whups, I meant the Gass translation, not the original German (can't read German.) Whups, I meant the Gass translation, not the original German (can’t read German.)

]]> By: nausicaa http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1164 nausicaa Mon, 25 Sep 2006 22:28:31 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1164 Yup, that's what I got too: ABA CDDC EFFEF So not *quite* the same rhyme scheme. Nevertheless, an elegant translation. In terms of sonics it doesn't approach the richness of the original (with all that consonance of lugubrious long "o" sounds), which embues the poem with such melancholy, but I guess that would be expecting too much out of what is already a very ambitious undertaking. Anyway, congrats. Good work. Yup, that’s what I got too:

ABA
CDDC
EFFEF

So not *quite* the same rhyme scheme. Nevertheless, an elegant translation. In terms of sonics it doesn’t approach the richness of the original (with all that consonance of lugubrious long “o” sounds), which embues the poem with such melancholy, but I guess that would be expecting too much out of what is already a very ambitious undertaking.

Anyway, congrats. Good work.

]]> By: Prince Roy http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1158 Prince Roy Fri, 22 Sep 2006 15:16:25 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1158 I must be missing something. Here's the rhyme scheme in German: Stanza I: Lines 1,3. Stanza II: Lines 1,4 Lines 2,3 Stanza III: Lines 1,4 Lines 2,3,5 I must be missing something. Here’s the rhyme scheme in German:

Stanza I:
Lines 1,3.

Stanza II:
Lines 1,4
Lines 2,3

Stanza III:
Lines 1,4
Lines 2,3,5

]]> By: Brendan O'Kane http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1149 Brendan O'Kane Tue, 19 Sep 2006 17:53:36 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1149 PR -- This translation sort of sticks to the rhyme scheme of the German, whereas the Feng Zhi and Bei Dao translations are unrhymed. Hey, Laska -- thanks for the comment. This Chinese translation is getting savaged on my Chinese blogs, so it may be a bit early to crown myself King of Chinese Poetry, but I still like it more than the Feng Zhi / Bei Dao translations. You're right about the Gass translation taking liberties (though I have to say, I really like his last line). The rhyme scheme getting abandoned in the last stanza stems, I think, from being unable to find a good rhyme for "letters." Interesting point about the "hunting" trope; I'd noticed 'jage' there, but since I don't actually speak German, I wasn't sure if I was just missing something there. PR — This translation sort of sticks to the rhyme scheme of the German, whereas the Feng Zhi and Bei Dao translations are unrhymed.

Hey, Laska — thanks for the comment. This Chinese translation is getting savaged on my Chinese blogs, so it may be a bit early to crown myself King of Chinese Poetry, but I still like it more than the Feng Zhi / Bei Dao translations.

You’re right about the Gass translation taking liberties (though I have to say, I really like his last line). The rhyme scheme getting abandoned in the last stanza stems, I think, from being unable to find a good rhyme for “letters.” Interesting point about the “hunting” trope; I’d noticed ‘jage’ there, but since I don’t actually speak German, I wasn’t sure if I was just missing something there.

]]> By: Laska http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1147 Laska Tue, 19 Sep 2006 15:20:32 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1147 love your blog; also love your translation, though I may not be schooled well enough in Chinese poetry to fully appreciate it. as it is also one of my favorite poems, I am picking nits, just for fun and in comradely spirit. Gass has deviated from the meaning of the original, mainly to preserve the rhyme scheme (which he abandons in the last stanza) but also meretriciously, as when he translates sehr (very) as "too" in the first line. Also, in the German it's very clear that what is being perfected in the second stanza is the fruits. Nevertheless, it's a beautiful translation and may be one of the best out there. Quickly scanning what's available on the internet, I conclude that M. D. Herter Norton's translation comes closest to an interlinear rendition of the German. And for that I like it. There is an attractive modesty in not taking too many liberties with the original. Now let me add something original: there's this very cool hunting trope that doesn't seem to be being caught by any of the English translations that I've seen so far. The winds are being unfessled in fields. The days are being pushed, jostled and pestered to perfection, as if by a pack of dugs. The sweetness is hunted into the wine. love your blog; also love your translation, though I may not be schooled well enough in Chinese poetry to fully appreciate it.

as it is also one of my favorite poems, I am picking nits, just for fun and in comradely spirit.

Gass has deviated from the meaning of the original, mainly to preserve the rhyme scheme (which he abandons in the last stanza) but also meretriciously, as when he translates sehr (very) as “too” in the first line.

Also, in the German it’s very clear that what is being perfected in the second stanza is the fruits.

Nevertheless, it’s a beautiful translation and may be one of the best out there.

Quickly scanning what’s available on the internet, I conclude that M. D. Herter Norton’s translation comes closest to an interlinear rendition of the German. And for that I like it. There is an attractive modesty in not taking too many liberties with the original.

Now let me add something original: there’s this very cool hunting trope that doesn’t seem to be being caught by any of the English translations that I’ve seen so far. The winds are being unfessled in fields. The days are being pushed, jostled and pestered to perfection, as if by a pack of dugs. The sweetness is hunted into the wine.

]]> By: James http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/comment-page-1/#comment-1146 James Sun, 17 Sep 2006 10:36:46 +0000 http://bokane.org/2006/09/14/mental-health-break/#comment-1146 I've been really enjoying your poetry translations. Even with my poor Chinese it's a fascinating experience. Can we make requests? I'm tempted to ask to see Ezra Pound's faux-translations translated, because although his idea of Chinese was largely imaginary, some of them are beautiful poems. I’ve been really enjoying your poetry translations. Even with my poor Chinese it’s a fascinating experience. Can we make requests? I’m tempted to ask to see Ezra Pound’s faux-translations translated, because although his idea of Chinese was largely imaginary, some of them are beautiful poems.

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