92 Days: We're All Fucked

A while ago I had an idea for a series of bumper stickers about Eastern philosophy — all variations on the theme of “We’re All Fucked.” (Note: not accurate, particularly in the glossing of Mo-Tzu’s 兼爱.) For example:

We’re All Fucked
pray for oblivion

Taoism (Lao-Tzu):
We’re All Fucked
don’t let them know they’re fucked

We’re All Fucked
unless you study really hard

Taoism (Chuang-Tzu):
We’re All Fucked
let’s go fishing

We’re All Fucked
quick, fuck them from behind when they’re not looking

We’re All Fucked
fuck around

Corrections and additions welcome in the comments.

Comments (13)

  1. Chris wrote::

    We’re All Fucked
    but some of us are more fucked than others

    Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 9:15 am #
  2. Soong Li wrote::

    We’re All Fucked
    then leave without letting anyone know.

    Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 5:29 pm #
  3. Soong Li wrote::

    Sorry in advance – 老子很生气,后果很严重。

    Thursday, May 8, 2008 at 6:50 pm #
  4. zhwj wrote::

    Your Confucian gloss is more of a Guoxue revival interpretation. Wouldn’t a more classical form be “We’re all fucked unless you obey your parents”?”

    Friday, May 9, 2008 at 8:29 pm #
  5. What about “We’re all fucked (since the Zhou dynasty ended)?”

    Friday, May 9, 2008 at 8:37 pm #
  6. R wrote::

    “We’re all fucked (since the Zhou dynasty ended)?”

    Hah… I like that interpretation.

    Let me try one:

    Xun Zi: We’re all fucked (Because you didn’t do everything according to my myriad of rules and systems, which is important because you’re so evil to begin with.)

    Friday, May 16, 2008 at 7:07 pm #
  7. anonymous wrote::

    Pure Land Buddhism:
    We’re all fucked.
    but mumble a single word, and you cant put a foot wrong

    Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 1:14 am #
  8. @anonymous:

    “We’re all fucked
    without the intervention of Jeeeeeeeeesus Amitaaaaaaaaaabha

    Wednesday, June 4, 2008 at 4:30 pm #
  9. Fiore wrote::

    roflmao. You should compile it into a poem, or a song.

    Friday, June 20, 2008 at 1:28 am #
  10. Mark wrote::

    You’re All Fucked
    that’s right, you

    Wednesday, July 9, 2008 at 3:03 pm #
  11. Ben Ross wrote::

    Great Post…wish I would have stumbled upon it earlier. Here are some additions.

    Deng Xiaoping

    We’re all fucked

    It’s glorius to get fucked


    We’re all fucked

    Why is this fuck different from all other fucks?

    Monday, October 13, 2008 at 8:29 am #
  12. Yaya wrote::

    Yang Chu:
    We’re all fucked
    so why should I give a fuck

    Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at 11:49 pm #
  13. Yaya wrote::

    Zhu Xi:
    We’re all fucked
    and since we can’t blame it on the eternal Li it means that it’s Qi’s fault (that turbid fuck).

    Tuesday, September 15, 2009 at 11:54 pm #