A while ago I had an idea for a series of bumper stickers about Eastern philosophy — all variations on the theme of “We’re All Fucked.” (Note: not accurate, particularly in the glossing of Mo-Tzu’s 兼爱.) For example:
Buddhism:
We’re All Fucked
pray for oblivion
Taoism (Lao-Tzu):
We’re All Fucked
don’t let them know they’re fucked
Confucius:
We’re All Fucked
unless you study really hard
Taoism (Chuang-Tzu):
We’re All Fucked
let’s go fishing
Sun-Tzu:
We’re All Fucked
quick, fuck them from behind when they’re not looking
Mo-Tzu:
We’re All Fucked
fuck around
Corrections and additions welcome in the comments.
Comments 13
Maoism:
Posted 08 May 2008 at 9:15 am ¶We’re All Fucked
but some of us are more fucked than others
Lao-Tzu:
Posted 08 May 2008 at 5:29 pm ¶We’re All Fucked
then leave without letting anyone know.
Sorry in advance – 老子很生气，后果很严重。
Posted 08 May 2008 at 6:50 pm ¶Your Confucian gloss is more of a Guoxue revival interpretation. Wouldn’t a more classical form be “We’re all fucked unless you obey your parents”?”
Posted 09 May 2008 at 8:29 pm ¶What about “We’re all fucked (since the Zhou dynasty ended)?”
Posted 09 May 2008 at 8:37 pm ¶“We’re all fucked (since the Zhou dynasty ended)?”
Hah… I like that interpretation.
Let me try one:
Xun Zi: We’re all fucked (Because you didn’t do everything according to my myriad of rules and systems, which is important because you’re so evil to begin with.)
Posted 16 May 2008 at 7:07 pm ¶Pure Land Buddhism:
Posted 29 May 2008 at 1:14 am ¶We’re all fucked.
but mumble a single word, and you cant put a foot wrong
@anonymous:
“We’re all fucked
Posted 04 Jun 2008 at 4:30 pm ¶without the intervention of
JeeeeeeeeesusAmitaaaaaaaaaabharoflmao. You should compile it into a poem, or a song.
Posted 20 Jun 2008 at 1:28 am ¶Colonialism:
Posted 09 Jul 2008 at 3:03 pm ¶You’re All Fucked
that’s right, you
Great Post…wish I would have stumbled upon it earlier. Here are some additions.
Deng Xiaoping
We’re all fucked
It’s glorius to get fucked
Judaism-
We’re all fucked
Why is this fuck different from all other fucks?
Posted 13 Oct 2008 at 8:29 am ¶Yang Chu:
Posted 15 Sep 2009 at 11:49 pm ¶We’re all fucked
so why should I give a fuck
Zhu Xi:
Posted 15 Sep 2009 at 11:54 pm ¶We’re all fucked
and since we can’t blame it on the eternal Li it means that it’s Qi’s fault (that turbid fuck).
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