OK everybody, it’s Genius Time: I’m going to write a screenplay.
It’ll be a romantic comedy for the 90后 teenyboppers. Premise: two online censors meet cute when they accidentally delete the same forum thread. The entire thing will be shot indoors, preferably in bad lighting, with all dialogue to be overdubbed slightly out of sync in keeping with local tradition. Virtually all of the scenes will take place in the faceless cubicle farm where Boy Censor and Girl Censor work. There’ll be a romantic dinner in the office canteen, the two of them leaning gradually closer together over stamped-tin trays of reheated mystery fish, Boy Censor’s knockoff Zippo flickering merrily beside them in lieu of candlelight.
There’ll be the standard-issue rom-com musical montage, but halfway through there’ll be an obvious, externally imposed cut to remove all sex scenes, comic misunderstandings, conflict, and doubt that the ending will be anything but happy. We close on a shot of Girl Censor’s hand on the mouse, preparing to click “Delete” on some troublesome forum topic — then on his hand covering hers, moving the mouse slightly to the right, and clicking “Delete All.”
Working title: You’ve Got Meiyou.
Comments 8
The same writing style as the chinese blog, wonderful!
Posted 22 Sep 2011 at 4:32 pm ¶Ha ha, love it! Definitely a title worth writing a screenplay for.
Posted 22 Sep 2011 at 6:02 pm ¶This is cool. I’m not sure it’ll make it to the box office, but I’m sure it’ll be the hit of pirated DVD shops across China.
Posted 26 Sep 2011 at 9:20 am ¶This will be a sure-fire hit. Time to start working on a sequel. How’s “For A Few Mao More” as a title?
Posted 28 Sep 2011 at 12:40 am ¶Haha. I love that ironic title. “You’ve Got Meiyou”: Ni You Meiyou.
Posted 23 Nov 2011 at 11:42 am ¶LOVE U ALWAYS~
Posted 06 Mar 2012 at 6:23 pm ¶This to be linked up with the romantic encounters of the two main characters? Like Roger Mexico’s V-2 impact crater map and the map of Tyrone Slothrop’s one-night-stands in Gravity’s Rainbow? Just a thought. http://blogs.wsj.com/chinarealtime/2012/06/01/charting-chinas-social-media-censorship/
Posted 01 Jun 2012 at 11:11 pm ¶This really is pure genius. Your admixture of fascination and contempt are a welcome breath of fresh fucking 空氣. Thanks!
Posted 07 Dec 2012 at 5:31 pm ¶Post a Comment